Heavy Heart

For those of you that don't know, Matthew and Chanie lost their son Andrew David Henderson on March 25th. The last two weeks have been very emotional for the entire family. Matthew and Chanie went in two weeks ago today to find out the sex of their baby only to find out that Chanie was already dilated and that the baby was in danger. From the moment I got the call from Matthew I knew something was wrong from the tone of his voice. My heart sank and I began to sob. Why would the Lord allow something like this to happen to my little brother?Flashbacks of our ambulance ride to Washington Regional on Nov. 30th raced through my mind. Why does the Lord save some babies and not others? I felt guilty for having a healthy little boy and Matthew's baby being in such danger. WHY LORD WHY!! After much deliberation and prayer Matthew and Chanie decided not to do a risky procedure to try and stop her labor. The chances of it working were slim and the outcome could jeopardize Chanie's health as well. They just let nature takes it path. She delivered a precious little one on March 25th. They were able to hold him for 30 minutes unitl he went to see Jesus. We went to LR on Wed. for a graveside service on Friday. It was so bittersweet to hug my brother. My heart just ached for them. I can't even imagine what they were feeling. There were lots of people there to love and support Mattthew and Chanie as well as celebrate the life of Andrew. Until this past week I haven't known the strength of Matthew. He is such an example of Christ. Over the past few weeks of talking to him on the phone, when I get off the phone with him, I feel better about the situation. Not the other way around. He amazes me!! The Lord is the giver of comfort and strength. This is evident through my brother. Being a parent has changed my life. I have never experienced such a great love until I had children. I understand God's love more for me after having kids. I am God's child. I know that he loves me more than I love my kids. Honestly, I dont know how that is even possible. We dissapoint him every day, yet He still loves us the same. Knowing that God sent His son to die for me... wow.... what a thought. Last night in community group we talked about the word Abba Father, in modern terms meaning "daddy". The Lords wants us to call him Abba Father. It melts my heart when Faith says mommy and when she calls out to daddy. God smiles when we call out to him too. He is our Father, we are His children. Not sure how that tidbit fits in this blog but just it's just what's on my heart. He heals to broken hearted and binds up their wounds. Psalm 147:3